...so it begins...

Man...this pregnancy is already kicking my butt and I am still just in the beginning. First of all..wait what?! It still sounds so crazy to me to even think about the fact that I am pregnant. It's embarrassing to admit..but, after the first initial positive, I seriously took (in complete honesty) probably like ten or so pregnancy tests (after the first million I have taken ever since I got married..let's be honest married ladies..who doesn't get a little test happy?) because I just couldn't believe it. I even took one the night before our first doctor's appointment because I was nervous that my body was playing tricks on me and it wasn't real. I seriously thought when they did the ultra sound that there would be nothing there. But, thankfully, we did see our wonderful little peanut and their teeny tiny heart beating so fast.

Seeing our little one was the most surreal feeling. It seriously all felt like a dream. It's a similar feeling to the day I married Jason, everything felt like such a blur, I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening because I couldn't believe I was really marrying the man of my dreams. But this...this is like that times one hundred thousand. Every single day I wake up and have to go look at the sonogram of our mini Cooper because I can't believe they are really there. I think it's easier to feel in denial too when I'm not showing yet. Even all the sickness I have had...it just hasn't registered quite fully that it's because my body is working on creating another human being.

Speaking of sickness...oh my goodness. For those who are close to me, you know this already...but oh my heck child!! You are making me absolutely miserable right now! I am going to be one hundred percent honest right now, at the risk of sounding selfish and ungrateful, I am having the hardest time with everything these days.

1.  I am an emotional wreck. Today Jason got to go to Chili's with his classmates from the nursing program to celebrate the last day of their first semester of clinical's. I didn't admit this to him at the time... but, he came home and showered before leaving for work after the lunch, and I literally cried because why? Because he didn't have any leftovers. Honestly. Every little thing makes me just want to cry. I have even sat in our apartment and out of no where start crying and I have actually, out loud, asked myself what in the world is happening to me.

2. I feel like crap all. the. time. A few weeks ago I started getting so sick that I could hardly get out of bed because I was so exhausted and could not keep any food down. I had to take a break from school and from work because I was having the hardest time doing anything. Even laying around feels like a lot of work sometimes because of how uncomfortable I am, which is ridiculous. I had to start taking this medication called Zofran, which is generally prescribed to chemo patients for nausea. It has helped a TON. I still throw up sometimes and I always feel tired and sick, but seriously..being able to keep some food down is like heaven these days.

3. Change. I am starting to freak out. It is most likely all these hormones that are making me really scared, but I am terrified. This is something I have always wanted. I always knew I wanted to get married someday and start a family. I always looked forward to the day I would be able to be pregnant (minus the whole labor and delivery thing) and be able to see the sweet little angels that my awesome Heavenly Father saved for me. This is something Jason and I have prayed about constantly over the past couple years and it's something we took very seriously. It took a lot for us to decide to have a baby. We are still very young and we have a lot to accomplish in our lives, namely finishing school. We just felt very strongly that it was time. For a while we were pulled back and forth, wanting to make sure we did what we were supposed to according to God's will and not our own...but that's a story for another day.
I am really scared of having to go through labor, and I have really started to doubt in my abilities to become a good mother. I want to give my baby everything I have, and I want to do everything I can for them, and I have been really struggling to feel like I can do that. Partly because I have been so sick and haven't been able to go to work and school, which right now in my mind, is exactly what I need to be doing to ensure that my child can have the best life. And I can't even do that? It is the worst feeling. I feel like I'm being such a burden on those around me. But, I am so lucky, and I have some incredible people in my life.

My husband. My amazing, wonderful, handsome, loving, kind, sweet, incredible husband. He has seriously been my rock. I cannot begin to express how much I love him. He is human and he stresses about things, he gets over-worked and school and his job but when it comes to this baby...this baby is his world. He continues to tell me daily "I am here for you. I am going to make everything okay." and I feel the fear and the anxiety begin to melt. You guys, I don't know how I did it, but I found him, and he is mine for eternity. I am so so so blessed. I have felt like nothing but stress for him these days as I have had to rest at home constantly, but he has not once complained. He has not once allowed me to bring him down or make him feel worried. He has been so positive and so loving that I just can't believe people like him exist. This baby is the luckiest, they have Superman as their Daddy.

My family. My family has been a huge support to us. My mom is extremely excited and she is constantly checking up on me and asking if there is anything she can do. My dad has done the same, making sure we are taken care of. My in-laws have been so supportive and awesome too. They are so loving and gracious. I am so grateful for all of them. I don't know that I could ever get through all of this without them. It definitely is a relief knowing I can call any one of them up and they would be there for me in a heartbeat.

Now, I know I have rambled and complained, but when it comes down to it, I really am so happy, nervous and frightened, but so so so happy. Funny how you can feel both at the same time. I already love my little one so much. I can't believe how much our baby has blessed us already, I have never felt so close to husband and my family as I do now. I am so excited for this adventure and I am so grateful to have been given the best calling in the world, Mom.

...this thanksgiving...

With Thanksgiving two weeks away we have SO much on our minds that we are thankful for! Just to name a few...

(Jason): I am thankful for my family, my education, my testimony, and my friends.

(Brittanie): I am thankful for my home, my family, my friends, my puppy (the one I dream about having, and also my big ol' puppy back at home), and the gospel.

We absolutely love this time of year. The holidays are the greatest, getting to spend quality time with family and friends, eating good food, and stopping to reflect on what's really important in this life.

We have been so blessed to be close to both of our parents, it can be challenging when trying to be at every event and dinner but overall we are extremely grateful for the love and support we have so close by. It has been so fun to grow closer to both families as we begin our own. You really don't realize how wonderful your parents are until you leave home. We owe so much to them for all have done and continue to do for us. We love you guys!!

We are really filled with so much gratitude for our family and the joy and love they bring in to our life together. We are especially grateful to be able to spend this family-oriented time of year celebrating the upcoming arrival of the newest addition to the Cooper family...

We are unbelievably excited to announce the arrival of Baby Cooper! Joining us Summer of 2014! Mostly we say "Summer" because they're due the end of June, and we're worried that the baby will decide to take their sweet time and not arrive until July, so "Summer" sounds a little better!

"The challenges ahead of me seem a lot easier now knowing my child is on the way. It motivates me to do and be better for them. I am so excited!" -Jason

"I am still in disbelief...but in a good way! It seriously makes me smile all day long hearing Jason repeatedly tell me how excited he is and how awesome it feels to know he is going to be a Dad. I am already so in love with the little family we are beginning!" -Brittanie

Surprise!!!

... prayer is so real ...

Do you ever have experiences that build your faith in God and the power that he holds? Well, Jason and I had an experience like that this week.

Sometime early Friday morning ( probably around 1 or 2 AM ) I was woken up by the strangest, scariest pain I have ever felt. It literally felt like my insides were twisting up in my stomach while being burnt at the same time. I had never felt anything like this before and it honestly scared me. I tried to calm myself down, thinking "This is going to go away any second, don't worry". I continued thinking that for about five minutes (which felt more like an hour to me ) as I gripped the side of the bed trying to focus on something other than the pain. I realized that the feeling wasn't going to go away anytime soon. I started to panic because it hurt so bad and was nothing I was familiar with, I was sure I was going to need to go to the hospital.

I shook Jason awake and told him "Hun, something is wrong." I explained to him what I was feeling. He popped up and started to rub my back and asked me what he could do for me. I told him nothing. He asked if we needed to go to the hospital. I told him we might need to. He leaned against the wall and pulled me back to lean against him and he just held me, reassuring me that he was there.

After a couple minutes I felt the pain slowly begin to subside and then completely disappear. I told Jason that I thought it had finally gone away, that it had started to fade and now I couldn't feel it anymore. After that I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in two seconds. 

The next morning as we got ready for the day Jason said "Well, last night was a pretty interesting experience!". "Was it?" I asked. "Yeah, when you had your stomach pain." he replied. "Why was it interesting?". "While I was holding you I said a prayer that your pain would go away and right after I finished is when you told me it was gone."

So cool. Not only did my Heavenly Father answer a prayer and help me when I was in need, but my husband knew that I needed him to pray and ask for help when I couldn't.

...new calling...

Wow. This year is just full of surprises!!  It really is turning out to be a pretty incredible year. As many of you may already know Jason and I have taught primary in our ward for over a year now. We have absolutely loved our calling. At the beginning of this year we started to teach the 6 and 7 year old's and we have had the best time. They are the sweetest little people and they have taught us so much more than we have taught them. We have fallen in love with those kids and have found an all new love for our gospel because of them.

Well. Two Saturday's ago Jason had a voice mail on his phone from a random number, so we listened to it. It went something like this...

" Hello, Brother Cooper, my name is Brother Mott calling from the BYU YSA 2nd Stake. Your stake president gave our stake president your name and we would like to meet with you and your wife. Please call me back when you get a chance"

So, of course, Jason called him back and set up an interview for the following Tuesday. We had no clue what we were meeting for but we were quite anxious over the next few days to find out what was going on. When the time came on Tuesday we headed off to the Wilkinson Center in Provo to meet with the stake presidency. They had us come in, sit down, and began to ask us all sorts of  'get to know you' questions. After about ten to fifteen minutes of talking ( still no clue why we are here ) they asked us to go in the hall and sit on the couch for a few minutes and fill out a paper with membership information. About five minutes later they called us back in.

"Now, Sister Cooper, we are going to ask you first, are you willing to support your husband in any calling the Lord has for him?"

Of course I said yes! I will always stand by my husband in anything he does.

"Alright then, now that we have the go ahead from your wife, the Lord would like to extend a calling to you to serve as 2nd counselor in the BYU YSA 21st ward bishopric, Brother Cooper. Do you accept this calling?"

Jason said Yes and I started crying! We were definitely not expecting this! It felt a little surreal, but exciting at the same time. Honestly, I have always seen Jason being called to a position like this, I did not see it happening this young, so I was caught off guard by that, but I wasn't surprised that the Lord would want him for this type of calling.

Jason had been feeling really nervous and overwhelmed all week after our interview. He felt that he had a lot more on his plate than he could handle. I was extremely excited and proud ( but at the same time sad to be leaving our amazing primary children ) so I tried to comfort him as much as I could all week. We then went to our first meeting with our new ward this past Sunday. It was AMAZING.

Jason and I were asked to share our testimonies in sacrament meeting. It was such a cool feeling. Both Jason and I felt peace and comfort. We knew this is where we are supposed to be. The ward was so awesome too. So many people shared their testimonies ( since it was fast and testimony meeting ) and it just helped us feel even better, knowing we were among some incredible people.

I am SO PROUD of you Jason!! You are going to be such a wonderful leader to these people and I know that they will come to love you and see you for the great person you are the way that I do. You were meant for this calling and I know you will fulfill it with all of your heart, might, and mind. You are a man among men my love. God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called. He will continue to qualify you and you will become an even better man than you already are. Thank you for the example you are to me. I love you so much!