First, I wanted to start out by saying...
ONLY 5 WEEKS UNTIL I GRADUATE!!!
I am so so so excited!
Some day's it feels like my graduation day is forever away, mostly because of the pregnancy, but then I think about it and realize I have less than 200 hours of my 1600 hour experience left with Paul Mitchell the School Provo. 5 weeks? Really?? That's such a small amount of time!
I am so extremely glad I made the choice to finish school before the babe comes, I am so so thankful my wonderful husband encouraged me to, and I am blessed that he continues to be my biggest supporter and help me through every step of the way!
My experience at Paul Mitchell has been awesome! I am so proud to have found a career I love that has pushed me outside my comfort zone and made me a better and stronger person. I have had good and hard times, made amazing friends, and have created some of the best memories being there.
Now, on to my sweet baby love :)
WEEKS?: 29 weeks 2 days
WEIGHT GAINED?: Had an appointment today and.. drum roll please.. TWENTY ONE POUNDS. I have gained twenty one pounds so far in the pregnancy! Still shocking to see my weight increase so much in such a short amount of time, but knowing it's for my little one is the best feeling. My doctor said he is actually surprised that I have been able to get to such a healthy weight considering how "small" I am (is 5 feet 1 inch really that small??). He told me my weight, blood pressure, and baby are all looking extremely healthy, which makes me REALLY proud of myself!
SYMPTOMS?: Lack of sleep and comfort! Nothing new. Have a really hard time breathing because my uterus is crushing my lungs..no big deal!
FOOD CRAVINGS/ AVERSIONS?: Still none. Appetite continues to increase.
SLEEP?: Non existent.
STRETCH MARKS?: Got a couple small ones on my chest, still none on my tummy that I can see!
BELLY BUTTON, IN OR OUT?: Half out, half flat.
HAPPY OR MOODY?: Agitated because of the lack of sleep, but still really happy for the most part!
NAME?: We have a name chosen, most everyone has heard it by now, BUT, we aren't making anything official until we see him. Pretty sure his name is set though :) (For those of you who haven't heard it, we'll try to keep it somewhat of a surprise for you!)
MISS ANYTHING?: Being able to crack my back (is that weird?). I miss it so much!
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Meeting this little guy in approximately 10 and a half weeks, and seeing my sweet sweet husband hold his son for the first time!
...27 Week Update...
WEEKS?: 27 weeks!
WEIGHT GAINED?: At my appointment a week and a half ago I had gained another 10 pounds, so that makes 14 overall! It was honestly kind of shocking at first when I saw my weight go up by 10 pounds on the scale after only a month..then I remembered that I have a growing baby and it's totally normal and healthy to be putting on that weight!
SYMPTOMS?: A lot of back pain and fatigue. I also got shin splints after jogging the other night. It's hard being in school having to carry my kit (which has all my tools and hair things for school) back and forth all the time and having to stand long periods of time doing clients hair. I absolutely love doing hair but once I finally sit down at the end of the day I become VERY aware of how sore and tired I am!
I am extremely grateful I have not been sick though. I can handle being sore and tired..adding sickness on top of that would probably kill me.
MOVEMENT?: He is a super active little man! Sometimes it feels like he is running laps in my stomach. He loves to move around and kick me (especially while I am settling down and trying to relax..like right now, he just keeps kicking)! I seriously am in love with the feeling though. It makes me feel like we're "hanging out" when I feel him. I miss him when he is resting!
FOOD CRAVINGS/ AVERSIONS?: None of either! I definitely love to eat, food always sounds good, but I don't have any specific cravings and I don't have any aversions. I feel pretty pretty normal these days (minus how hungry I am all the time)!
SLEEP?: What is sleep? Haha, I get OK sleep, but I definitely do not get rest anymore. I am always tired and never comfortable enough to stay asleep for very long.
STRETCH MARKS?: None yet. At least not that I am aware of! I've heard you can get little stretch marks but not see them until after the baby is born and you aren't totally stretched out anymore.
BELLY BUTTON, IN OR OUT?: The top half of my belly button pokes out a little while the bottom half is fighting to stay flush with my stomach. It is really weird to see how it looks now compared to what it was once upon a time.
HAPPY OR MOODY?: Really happy! But I do find that I feel pretty agitated on the days I am feeling really really sore and tired. Who wouldn't be though?
MISS ANYTHING?: Not feeling winded after doing things that used to be so simple...like walking. I kind of miss sleep... but to be honest, I am mostly just super excited!! It may sound strange (and it could be the lack of rest and fatigue talking) but feeling the achy joints and muscles and waking up every 5 seconds because I'm uncomfortable makes me happy. Feeling all of that reminds me of the reason I feel that way..and he is a really good reason :)
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Each day I look forward to feeling my little guy moving around. Obviously I am mostly looking forward to meeting him and seeing his sweet little face. I feel like I already know his spirit a little bit. I feel really confident in the name we have picked out (as of now) and am just so happy he is going to be joining our little Cooper family!!
WEIGHT GAINED?: At my appointment a week and a half ago I had gained another 10 pounds, so that makes 14 overall! It was honestly kind of shocking at first when I saw my weight go up by 10 pounds on the scale after only a month..then I remembered that I have a growing baby and it's totally normal and healthy to be putting on that weight!
SYMPTOMS?: A lot of back pain and fatigue. I also got shin splints after jogging the other night. It's hard being in school having to carry my kit (which has all my tools and hair things for school) back and forth all the time and having to stand long periods of time doing clients hair. I absolutely love doing hair but once I finally sit down at the end of the day I become VERY aware of how sore and tired I am!
I am extremely grateful I have not been sick though. I can handle being sore and tired..adding sickness on top of that would probably kill me.
MOVEMENT?: He is a super active little man! Sometimes it feels like he is running laps in my stomach. He loves to move around and kick me (especially while I am settling down and trying to relax..like right now, he just keeps kicking)! I seriously am in love with the feeling though. It makes me feel like we're "hanging out" when I feel him. I miss him when he is resting!
FOOD CRAVINGS/ AVERSIONS?: None of either! I definitely love to eat, food always sounds good, but I don't have any specific cravings and I don't have any aversions. I feel pretty pretty normal these days (minus how hungry I am all the time)!
SLEEP?: What is sleep? Haha, I get OK sleep, but I definitely do not get rest anymore. I am always tired and never comfortable enough to stay asleep for very long.
STRETCH MARKS?: None yet. At least not that I am aware of! I've heard you can get little stretch marks but not see them until after the baby is born and you aren't totally stretched out anymore.
BELLY BUTTON, IN OR OUT?: The top half of my belly button pokes out a little while the bottom half is fighting to stay flush with my stomach. It is really weird to see how it looks now compared to what it was once upon a time.
HAPPY OR MOODY?: Really happy! But I do find that I feel pretty agitated on the days I am feeling really really sore and tired. Who wouldn't be though?
MISS ANYTHING?: Not feeling winded after doing things that used to be so simple...like walking. I kind of miss sleep... but to be honest, I am mostly just super excited!! It may sound strange (and it could be the lack of rest and fatigue talking) but feeling the achy joints and muscles and waking up every 5 seconds because I'm uncomfortable makes me happy. Feeling all of that reminds me of the reason I feel that way..and he is a really good reason :)
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Each day I look forward to feeling my little guy moving around. Obviously I am mostly looking forward to meeting him and seeing his sweet little face. I feel like I already know his spirit a little bit. I feel really confident in the name we have picked out (as of now) and am just so happy he is going to be joining our little Cooper family!!
22 Week Update..It's a BOY!!
The pregnancy has been going really well lately! I have been really tired but overall my energy and health feels like it has improved tremendously. I actually started back at school a couple weeks ago. I am scheduled to finish in May, which will give me about a month (give or take, depending on when mini mister decides to join us) to just rest and prepare for our little guy to come.
I am so grateful for how life has been going these days. There are still struggles and trials that we have had to face, but recognizing how blessed we really are has helped make everything so worth it and has given Jason and I the confidence and positive attitudes we need to push on and find happiness in every moment.I feel so so so blessed.
Jason has been so excited since finding out our little one is a boy. He was excited before, but I think knowing the gender has made everything a little more real for both of us! I find Jason talking about our baby more often and talking about our future as a family. It makes me that much more happy knowing how much he is looking forward to it. He keeps telling me that he can't wait to hold our little man...I love that! I can't wait to see him be a father.
We have two names in mind as of right now, but we aren't setting anything in stone just yet. We both agreed that we need to see him first to know for sure, but, I'll admit, I do call him one of the two names when I'm at home alone or with Jason. I fell in love with it even more after hearing its meaning. I just felt impressed that it fit our baby. Although, I do believe that whatever he is meant to be called will be revealed to us when he is finally here, whether it is what I feel it will be now or not! No matter what, I know I will be so in love with him, I already am!!
WEEKS?: Today I am 22 weeks and 2 days
I am so grateful for how life has been going these days. There are still struggles and trials that we have had to face, but recognizing how blessed we really are has helped make everything so worth it and has given Jason and I the confidence and positive attitudes we need to push on and find happiness in every moment.I feel so so so blessed.
Jason has been so excited since finding out our little one is a boy. He was excited before, but I think knowing the gender has made everything a little more real for both of us! I find Jason talking about our baby more often and talking about our future as a family. It makes me that much more happy knowing how much he is looking forward to it. He keeps telling me that he can't wait to hold our little man...I love that! I can't wait to see him be a father.
We have two names in mind as of right now, but we aren't setting anything in stone just yet. We both agreed that we need to see him first to know for sure, but, I'll admit, I do call him one of the two names when I'm at home alone or with Jason. I fell in love with it even more after hearing its meaning. I just felt impressed that it fit our baby. Although, I do believe that whatever he is meant to be called will be revealed to us when he is finally here, whether it is what I feel it will be now or not! No matter what, I know I will be so in love with him, I already am!!
WEEKS?: Today I am 22 weeks and 2 days
WEIGHT GAINED?: As of our 20 week appointment it showed that I have gained 4 pounds overall (5 if you include the pound I lost in the beginning of the pregnancy). I feel I have put on a little more though since then, which is great! Now that I'm feeling healthier, I'm sure my weight gain will start to increase.
SYMPTOMS?: Not so much anymore! Thank goodness!! Of course I feel tired most of the time, but I feel much healthier and more energetic than before.
MOVEMENT?: I feel him pretty frequently now, which I love! He tends to be more active in the morning, then again at night, but I still will feel him kick and move around throughout the day. Jason has felt him quite a few times now and even gets to see my stomach move sometimes. It's the coolest thing. I love having my little guy with me all the time.
FOOD CRAVINGS/ AVERSIONS?: Not really. I find that if something sounds really good to me then I feel like I HAVE to have it, but it's not a specific food that I consistently crave, changes all the time! As for aversions, I am A OK in that area. I can eat pretty much anything now and don't have a problem with any distaste for any foods.
SLEEP?: I am getting much better sleep lately. My body is pretty much on a schedule now. We go to bed around 10:30-11 PM usually and, unless I have an alarm set to wake me up earlier, I wake up on my own around 8-8:30 AM. I do wake up at least once in the night to go to the bathroom, but sleeping has been a lot easier!
STRETCH MARKS?: No stretch marks yet. I have honestly been a little surprised that I haven't gotten them though because I have felt sooo stretched out.
BELLY BUTTON, IN OR OUT?: In
HAPPY OR MOODY?: So happy these days!! I am definitely enjoying life a lot more right now. As opposed to the first trimester I am loving the pregnancy now and am really happy overall in life.
MISS ANYTHING?: Nothing! I guess I do miss my little boy when I haven't noticed him kicking in a little while, but that usually only happens at school when I'm busy and my mind is preoccupied.
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Finishing school so that I can take the last little bit of the pregnancy off and just enjoy relaxing (as much as you can relax at the end of pregnancy) and preparing for our mini to come!
IT'S A....
...life, love and happiness...
Life has been really crazy lately, and pretty challenging. We have really felt tested lately, but we have also felt closer to each other than we ever have. It has made us really reflect on what is truly important in life, and we have actually noticed that with our trials we have been given a lot of guidance to help us through it. During the past couple weeks at church it has seemed like the Lord is really reaching out to be there for us. The talks and lessons we have heard have felt like they are directly meant for us. It has been a huge blessing and has strengthened our testimony of the gospel and continued to remind us that our Heavenly Father loves us so so much.
I'm so glad for the life I have. It is hard. Life is hard. It doesn't matter who you are, what you've gone through, how much money you have, or how great of a person you are. Life is a trial for everyone. We all have battles, we all have felt kicked when we're down, we've all felt alone, and scared. But, that is that awesome thing about life. We all have something in common! No one is exempt from hard times, but no one is meant to go through it by themselves. I look back and think on times I felt like I really had no one to look to, but I always did. There were always church leaders, friends, family, and of course my Father in heaven.
In our last sacrament meeting with the BYU YSA ward two Sunday's ago a girl spoke on prayer. She spoke the same words I have heard about prayer so many times before, but this time was different somehow. This time my heart was opened. I felt like my soul had been yearning for this lesson and it was like drinking water after wandering through a desert.
She said five simple words. "Sometimes the answer is no." This struck a chord with me like it hasn't before. Because this time I didn't hear it and think "Yeah, sometimes life stinks and we don't get what we want. Sometimes we're supposed to struggle through it and move on with life." No. This time I heard "Sometimes Heavenly Father tells us no because he knows of the heartache and danger that await us if we were to be told "Yes." Sometimes he says no because he has in store for us greater blessings than we could have hoped to have found on the opposite path." I could feel somewhere inside of me that everything I have wanted recently that received a "No" answer to were not things that would make me feel fulfilled and truly happy. It's as if I were at a fork in the road and suddenly could see in the distance what waited at the end of both ways, and the way that I had prayed to go down looked a lot more dim than I imagined it would be.
Ever since this day things have started to click. And by "click" I don't mean that everything became sun and rainbows. I mean that even in the midst of the trials Jason and I are going through, I have found peace and comfort. Even though it has been difficult at times, I find comfort that these trials are meant to serve a greater purpose than to just be difficult. It is all meant to lead us to blessings and happiness, and in knowing that, I have felt much happier.
Jason sent me a link to a video today of the story of the prodigal son. It talks about how the son who left and returned was not the only one who was lost. The son who chose to stay with his father soon found himself overcome with jealousy and anger. Elder Jeffery R. Holland goes on to talk about allurements telling us that what we have is not enough. Jas and I briefly spoke on how easy it is to notice the things you are missing out on. That has been something I have found myself struggling with, I think to some extent we all are constantly battling that feeling. I want to live in a bigger home, I want to go on more vacations, I want to be able to go on more expensive date nights, I want all my relationships to be perfect, I want friends and family to reach out more, etc.
I may not have much, but what I do have is of more worth than I could ever hope to find within larger amounts of money, perfect people, or beautiful places and things. I have a place to call home. I have a husband whom I always feel safe with and loved by. I have wonderful family and friends that may not be perfect, but are there for me, and definitely worth my time and love. I belong to a church that is always teaching me more, allowing me to serve and to be served, and never fails me. I have food to eat when I am hungry. And I have a beautiful baby on the way that reminds me how much I am needed and how much good I am capable of doing.
Life is not perfect, people are not perfect, and that's okay. The way I see it is that life could not be perfect if it weren't for the flaws and the hardships. We would never learn and grow. We would never experience developing talents. We would never feel loved and blessed because we would never know what it is like to feel otherwise.
I don't mean this to be all preachy and sappy, but I can't help but feel so overwhelmed with gratitude for the things, the simple things, we experience every day. I know it's hard, believe me, my life is far from perfect or glamorous, and there have been times in my past where I didn't think that I could ever find real happiness. But it's there! It's surrounding us! Sometimes we don't get the things we want or the answers we are looking for, but there is a reason. The reasons are usually unseen to us, which can make it feel like a punishment or some kind of curse, but I promise, it isn't.
I hope that every person that reads this knows they are loved. You are loved by a higher power, you are loved by people in your life, you are loved by me. I am grateful to those who have shown love and kindness to me. It is essential for us to be there for each other. We are surrounded by one another for a reason, we are meant to go through this life together. We are meant to share in each other's losses, accomplishments, sorrows, and happiness. I know I won't be perfect, but this new year I hope to be better at that.
Thank you everyone. My life is where it is today because of the people who are in it.
(Below is the link to the video I mentioned earlier)
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